“Seek first to understand, then to be understood.” –Stephen Covey
1) Reflect upon what you read in Chapter 11 of Thriving in College. What does this quote mean to you or how can you apply it to your life?
Chapter 11 talks about interpersonal relationships and how to build and keep them strong. This quote, to me, means that it is way more important to listen to others first before you start giving your opinion. I'm pretty sure I have stumbled upon this type of situation way too many times. The type of situation where you were listening, but did not put forth the effort to "really" listen. Because of this, you did not get the full picture of what they were saying, and you end up saying something that you definitely end up regreting later. For example: there have been many times in my life when I was already flustered about something that had happened earlier in the day, so when I'm having a conversation with someone else later on, I don't really listen to what they exactly saying, and I end up jumping to conclusions. Situations like this are what the quote above is refering to. You should ALWAYS pay full attention to what others are saying, and make sure you understand what they are saying before you begin to talk. As talked about in Ch. 11, it is always best to show the other person that you are listening and that you care. If you do not fully listen to them and then begin to talk and try to get them to understand your side of the situation, what makes you think that they are going to care.
2) (Refer to page 380 of the text): Are you a “Crisis Tickler,” “Withholder,” “Irritator,” “Blamer,” or “Gunnysacker?” Explain.
Wow that's a really hard question. In my opinion, i don't think i have a set technique. I think I hit all the points, because i will fight with different people differently. It just really depends on who I am upset with at the time.
First of all, people don't see me upset very often, because I very rarely get mad. I'm a pretty easy going person, and I dont like to make a big deal about a lot of things, because i LOVE being friends with a variety of different kinds of people. To do that, i believe you have to be lenient in many situations and on many occasions.
When I do get upset with people, it is usually with the people i am closest to. (that sounds really bad, but it's true) When it comes to my sisters, I definitely like to use the irritators technique. Com'mon... they're my sisters. If I'm mad at them, of course I'm going to want to bug the heck out of them, because that's probably what they were doing to make me upset in the first place.
When I'm upset with Daniel I have found that i like to use a variety. I guess it depends what mood I am in. Lot of times I will just ignore him, or just not seem overly excited to see him. Looking at it now, I guess I did it, because he would know instantly that I was mad at him and I knew it was a sort of punishment because he couldnt stand not talking to me or me not being excited to see him. Sometimes I will use the blamers technique on him too. It has always had this thing where he can't be mad at me for more than an hour. So, I think it just comes down to the fact that I can blame everything on him and in less than an hour he wont care anymore and I feel better because i secretly convinced myself that it wasn't my fault (when 95% of the time it is).
I tend to use the Gunnysackers technique on my mom. I do this because my mom is put through enough critisism and put-downs from my dad as it is, so I dont always like to tell her i am upset with her. So when she finally does something that I cant hold inside and i need to say something to her about it, I usually end up spilling out everything else along with it. I dont mean to do this to my mom, it just seems to accidentally happen.
The very few times in my life that I have gotten upset with someone who isn't family or practically family, I tend to use the Crisis Ticklers technique. When i do this i try to use an innoccent sounding statement or question that will hopefully trigger them to realize that i am bothered by whats going on. I usually do this because if it works then we dont have that conversation where i feel like a jerk for saying something, and if it doesnt work, then i just learn to deal with it and i end up getting over it in time.
Looking at what i just wrote makes me feel pretty bad. I guess i never really realized how bad all of these things were. :(
Monday, November 24, 2008
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Blog #10
"Who are the people in your life that you tend to turn to for social support when you are experiencing stress or need personal encouragement?"
The person I definitely go to every single time is Daniel. He is my best friend and the person that has given me every ounce of confidence I have. He has ALWAYS been there for me, not matter the situation. He had never let me down, and I know he never will. He always knows what to say or what to do; whether I'm stressed out, upset about something that happened during my day, or if I just feel like the world is crashing down around me. I can't express how thankful I am to have him in my life.
If I ever need more than one opinion, I go to my mom. My mom is always there for me, but the reason she is always my second choice is because she tends to lecture and make everything feel like it's my fault. But i love here anyways, and I know that no matter what the situation, she will always be there for me.
The person I definitely go to every single time is Daniel. He is my best friend and the person that has given me every ounce of confidence I have. He has ALWAYS been there for me, not matter the situation. He had never let me down, and I know he never will. He always knows what to say or what to do; whether I'm stressed out, upset about something that happened during my day, or if I just feel like the world is crashing down around me. I can't express how thankful I am to have him in my life.
If I ever need more than one opinion, I go to my mom. My mom is always there for me, but the reason she is always my second choice is because she tends to lecture and make everything feel like it's my fault. But i love here anyways, and I know that no matter what the situation, she will always be there for me.
Monday, November 10, 2008
Blog #9
1) What are you most stressed-out with at the moment? Why? Is your body re-acting to this stress? Devise a plan to deal with it.
Right now I am most stressed out with still trying to fix my procrastination!!! I am getting a little better though, but I still wish it wasn't this bad. It's just frustrating.... i want to get my homework done, but i just keep putting it off. I think my body is reacting to it a little, because i always feel worn out and I'm not even doing any thing. I really have to write out a plan/schedule for studying time and free time, then abide by that schedule.
2) FFN: Chapter 8 / This is a creative writing exercise! Read the following scenario and finish it based on your knowledge after reading Chapter 8.
You are "Raul" and have just immigrated to the American West illegally from Mexico. You brought your wife and two young children with you on a frightening and expensive 4-day journey in the back of a beat-up truck to arrive in Texas. You can't find work there and Border Patrol is cracking down, so you decide to migrate north a bit where you have relatives in Colorado. You are hired on the spot by ConAgra to work in one of their "beef processing" plants. -Describe in sensory detail your place of employment. (What's it look like, what is going on, how do people act, what do you wear, what is your job? etc..)
-How much $$$ do you earn?
-How do your days go? What are your work hours and what do you do after work?
-Where do you live, what do you live in, how is your quality of life?
I have just been hired into the beef processing buisness, and the future doesn't look so bright. It is a dark, plain looking building that I walk into every day. I put on my hard hat, metal-like apron, coat, and my boots and then head to my station. I work in an area where my quickness and strength is put to the test. I, along with many other men, must use a large metal hook to drag a large piece of meat of a conver belt, use a large knife and all our strength to cut away meat that is unwanted, and then throw it back on the belt. It is a very physical and mental demanding job. The pay does not fit the job at all. I am getting paid minimum wage even though I am working horribly long shifts and not getting paid extra for any overtime.
The working conditions are almost unbearable. It is cool in this part of the factory, but with the type of work I am doing.... It feels like a hundred degrees. So far, I have witnessed that there is no time to think; you just do it. And if your actions and your other limbs dont match up, then something bad happens. I have not been here very long, but i have already witnessed horrible things. The smell is almost unbearable. The noise level is outrageous. There is no emotion unless you take the split second to look into the eyes of the person next to you. You may catch that glimpse of regret or depression.
When I'm done with work, I wearily make it back to my family in the basement of my realitives' home. They are waiting for me to arrive so we can spend a few minutes together before I go to bed to prepare for the next early rise. We dont have much, but we try to make the best of all we have, and just remain thankful for having each other and a place to stay.
Right now I am most stressed out with still trying to fix my procrastination!!! I am getting a little better though, but I still wish it wasn't this bad. It's just frustrating.... i want to get my homework done, but i just keep putting it off. I think my body is reacting to it a little, because i always feel worn out and I'm not even doing any thing. I really have to write out a plan/schedule for studying time and free time, then abide by that schedule.
2) FFN: Chapter 8 / This is a creative writing exercise! Read the following scenario and finish it based on your knowledge after reading Chapter 8.
You are "Raul" and have just immigrated to the American West illegally from Mexico. You brought your wife and two young children with you on a frightening and expensive 4-day journey in the back of a beat-up truck to arrive in Texas. You can't find work there and Border Patrol is cracking down, so you decide to migrate north a bit where you have relatives in Colorado. You are hired on the spot by ConAgra to work in one of their "beef processing" plants. -Describe in sensory detail your place of employment. (What's it look like, what is going on, how do people act, what do you wear, what is your job? etc..)
-How much $$$ do you earn?
-How do your days go? What are your work hours and what do you do after work?
-Where do you live, what do you live in, how is your quality of life?
I have just been hired into the beef processing buisness, and the future doesn't look so bright. It is a dark, plain looking building that I walk into every day. I put on my hard hat, metal-like apron, coat, and my boots and then head to my station. I work in an area where my quickness and strength is put to the test. I, along with many other men, must use a large metal hook to drag a large piece of meat of a conver belt, use a large knife and all our strength to cut away meat that is unwanted, and then throw it back on the belt. It is a very physical and mental demanding job. The pay does not fit the job at all. I am getting paid minimum wage even though I am working horribly long shifts and not getting paid extra for any overtime.
The working conditions are almost unbearable. It is cool in this part of the factory, but with the type of work I am doing.... It feels like a hundred degrees. So far, I have witnessed that there is no time to think; you just do it. And if your actions and your other limbs dont match up, then something bad happens. I have not been here very long, but i have already witnessed horrible things. The smell is almost unbearable. The noise level is outrageous. There is no emotion unless you take the split second to look into the eyes of the person next to you. You may catch that glimpse of regret or depression.
When I'm done with work, I wearily make it back to my family in the basement of my realitives' home. They are waiting for me to arrive so we can spend a few minutes together before I go to bed to prepare for the next early rise. We dont have much, but we try to make the best of all we have, and just remain thankful for having each other and a place to stay.
Sunday, November 2, 2008
Blog #8
What was the most rewarding lesson of this class?
I really think that lesson about study habits will really help me get better grades. I learned some new things that I have never even thought about before.
What would you change about yourself, your habits, your priorities after taking this corse.
This course kind of opened my eyes a little bit. It helped me realize that I wasn't working as hard as I could be, because there are so many more things I could be doing to better my grades. So I definitely think that I need to change some of these study habits I have, along with my procrastination, and substitute that with some of these better techniques for studying, reading, and test taking that we learned in class.
I really think that lesson about study habits will really help me get better grades. I learned some new things that I have never even thought about before.
What would you change about yourself, your habits, your priorities after taking this corse.
This course kind of opened my eyes a little bit. It helped me realize that I wasn't working as hard as I could be, because there are so many more things I could be doing to better my grades. So I definitely think that I need to change some of these study habits I have, along with my procrastination, and substitute that with some of these better techniques for studying, reading, and test taking that we learned in class.
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